To the lady who came out proudly and stated that she is out to steal someone's husband, may you be applauded for your honesty.  But I cannot let your sentiments go without putting my two cents in it.

First let me begin by saying that this is exactly why the emancipation of women has not happened and will never happen - because we are our own worst enemy. 

We only have ourselves to blame that men behave the way they do because quite frankly, we allow it. Because from what you said, a woman will hold onto a man for the sake of being married, for the sake of a wedding ring and 'respectability', putting her life at risk of HIV and all sorts of other uglies out there. 

What you're saying is that women have no respect for the sanctity of someone else's marriage to the point that they will sniper another woman just to have the man.  I find it difficult to stomach that in this day and age people are actually willing to share men.

Then you wonder why our men are the bitches that they are. they have learned that there are  no consequences to the behaviour, and that the women involved will hate and fight each other over them.  That, my dear lady, makes us utter morons.  Why do self respecting women put themselves through this.  For a man?  What man out there is worth your sanity, your health, your very life?

You mention you want to make your family proud? Let me ask you this, say you have a daughter, are you going to be proud of her when she destroys someone else's home in the pursuit of her own? 

Why would you be proud of that daughter?

Are you saying that marriage is more important than morals and common decency? 

That your mother wants you to have a husband, regardless of how you got him? 

Then our culture is in a very sad state of disrepair, i have to say. 

Has marriage become the cornerstone of who we are as a people, is that what defines us in the diaspora? 

To the point that we forget all the core values our elders instilled in us, that made us good people? 

Then it is a crying shame.  We should all weep for our culture because it has rotted and died a sad death!  And know that these people in foreign countries see us a group of stupid, promiscuous jigaboos, and say that no wonder we're dying of AIDS in such numbers, in case you thought any different.

And let me end by saying this - if this is how women choose to behave, and this is what they think is the way to do things, then it just proves that the olden day people were right about us females. 

It was pointless educating us because really, we must be very, very stupid. 

We want to complain that the men are bitches and give us a hard time.

Yet we enable their behaviour by consciously doing what you have endorsed here. 

Women intruding in other women's marriages, and those women staying with an unfaithful partner because they don't want to discard their cloak of respectability. 

Ladies, wake the fuck up, and smell the coffee. 

There can be no respectability where there is no self respect, and you can't tell me that the wife or the mistress of an unfaithful man has any self respect at all!

Nor does the man, to wilfully ignore sacred vows taken in a church, in front of God. 

Adulterers know no honour. 

The wedding vows are clear -'what God hath joineth together, let no man rend asunder."  

Then you want to break up the marriage and dare to take the same vows.  Excuse me, the guy cheated with you, and ignored his previous vows to do so. 

Why would you want to be with someone like that?  Come on! 

As for stealing my husband - you are welcome to try, and if you succeed, you can go ahead and keep him. 

I am a strong, beautiful black woman who does not need a man to validate me.

I am strong, I am smart, I am educated, and I am a devout Christian. 

That I am married is a bonus. 

You want to break us up, steal my husband, destroy my home, because I had my turn being a wife? 

Go for it, girl, I have faith my man is a committed, real Christian,and if you succeed in 'stealing' him from me, he is all yours. 

You will reap exactly what you sow. 

Enough said.

A very perplexed reader